Fear taught me to be quiet for much of my life — fear others may see the pain in my eyes, the hurt I felt as a child, and the fear of living in fear was always that whisper within my ear.
But it wasn’t fear that kept me from telling my story as an adult even after overcoming many adversities.
It was shame.
The shame of my circumstance and situation since conception. The shame of my identity, not knowing my father, and ancestry. The shame of the mistakes I’d made throughout life — business, personal, and otherwise.
I’d just had a stressful couple of weeks where I was bombarded with requests for help from friends and family.
To help process this request for help, I wrote an article about it. You can read more about it here.
I had to learn to set boundaries to protect my sanity after becoming overwhelmed by others' problems.
But before I could publish my story, an article by fellow writer, Vishnu*s Virtues derailed my reasoning and left me questioning myself. I felt guilty to the point where I contemplated not publishing the article.
Here's Vishnu's article. He wrote about his mentorship…
I’ll admit it — I’m overly compassionate. I can't turn my back on people needing my help. Being helped by others while growing up, I feel a sense of obligation to return the favor.
Besides that, I’m kindhearted by nature. I sometimes put others' needs and problems ahead of mine, then soon realize it's to my detriment.
“I have a situation I need your help with,” she said as we sat down for lunch at the outdoor dining of a popular restaurant.
Here we go again, I thought to myself. Her voice was too familiar.
I couldn’t believe she had…
I was a mistake since conception. This is what I’d jokingly tell people about my origin story.
Truth be told, I’m the product of an affair my mom had while she was married. I learned to live with this knowledge unbeknown to my parents and made the most by living a happy life.
Years later, I would grow up and make many of my own mistakes — Getting married at 17 was the first big one. I’d never been in a prior relationship. I remembered being scared going to bed the first night after the wedding. The thought of sharing…
Growing up, I didn’t talk much. I had few friends. People would often ask me if I was ok.
Maybe I had a sad presence.
On the contrary, I wasn’t despondent. I was more observant. I listened more than I spoke and learned a lot from practicing this habit.
I internalized my thoughts, and when I felt it was too much in my head, I would write them down in a journal I had.
Writing in my journal releases the tension or anxiety I have.
I had many questions while growing up. I didn’t feel close to my mom to…
It was a Monday afternoon. I’d returned from school early before my other siblings. I walked into a heated exchange of angry verbal attacks.
It was kind of strange my dad would be home at 2:30 in the daytime. He worked in the city, 40 miles from the small rural town we lived, and was most at home on the weekends.
Even with the door shut to my Mom and Dad’s bedroom, it couldn’t contain what was going on inside. The anger that transcends their voices vibrated the walls of the two-bedroom bungalow where we lived.
I was bracing for…
What I’ve learned by stepping out of my comfort zone.
It was a cold spring Friday evening, May 15, 2014. I remember it like yesterday.
We sat beside each other on the wooden floor of the small apartment we had just rented. Windows high and wide, we had a full view of the outside. The sunset seemed to compete with the thick gray clouds hovering over the high-rise new York city buildings.
We’d a long day finalizing the lease agreement. The key to an empty apartment was a clean slate to begin furnishing. So was my son's future.
What if at 20, you don't get to go to college; Is that a reason for not having a career plan? What if you lose your job at 30 and join the unemployment ranks; would you not plan to buy a house, maybe a car, get married or start a family, and what if you die before you turn 60; Is that a good reason not to plan your retirement?
We ask ourselves a lot of what-ifs and fail to plan.
But what if you live to 65, retired without an income. At 75, how will you survive, and just…
Today I can't help but reflect. Over one year later, the pandemic continues to dominate the news.
Many countries affected by new strains and variants still grapple with the inability to get the virus under control.
The hopelessness of a people felt from afar.
One such country is India.
It brought back memories of the United States of America, similarly impacted by the pandemic for much of 2020. New York City where I live, once the epicenter.
Recent data suggests India in an even worst situation with alarming numbers of daily new COVID cases, thousands of deaths, and a healthcare…
“Time waits for no man” — Geoffrey Chaucer reminds us.
Yet we wait for the perfect time to do the things we want, or we put them off for later.
But later may never be. Either for you or me.
Today is a grim reminder of just that.
Five days ago; I had a conversation with one of my friends. We were catching up, after a long time.
She was optimistic about the future despite the pandemic’s toll on her.
Having lost her job, uncertain of a favorable response to the numerous applications she’d sent out for consideration of a…